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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711848">Kisses X and X Chains</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomTiings/pseuds/RandomTiings'>RandomTiings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drama &amp; Romance, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Healthy Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, My First Fanfic, Plot, Romance, Sassy Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter), Size Difference, Vanilla, Zepile and Leorio Are Bros, leopika - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:21:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomTiings/pseuds/RandomTiings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika dedicated his life to his ambitions a long time ago. With goals as dangerous as his to achieve, the only way to keep himself focused and his friends safe is to keep away from them- and Kurapika's done a good job of this so far. At least until now. </p><p>What was meant to be a brief meeting with Leorio rekindles not only their friendship but something new that Kurapika can't name and, as it turns out, something that he can't control. In a life where control and focus means everything, can Leorio- and the way he makes him feel- possibly be safe?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurapika &amp; Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Reuniting X and X Getting Drunk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dim light flicked around the small room, casted by a candle that rested on top of a small table placed in front of a couch, of which a boy sat on top of. Kurapika’s hands were laced together loosely and rested under his chin, his elbows prompted on his lap. His scarlet eyes were a deep color, staring straight ahead of him to what rested on either side of the candles. Jars, filled with a transparent liquid and an eye in the center of each. A scarlet eye. A scarlet eye that was a heart-wrenching reflection of his own.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As he stared, Kurapika tried to recall the memories he shared of the Kurta clan. He would envision running through fields with his best friends, young and new to the world, excited by every light brush of wind against their cheeks and the mere shining of the sun. Wanting to see more, wanting to do more, wanting to be more. Every time these scenes came up in his head, Kurapika felt no joy, nor nostalgia for what once was. All he felt was hate, red and hot and writhing in his chest, begging and screaming to be put into use. Put into use against those who had slaughtered his people. Put into use against the ones who had made him like this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika couldn’t remember how long it had been since those memories had invoked anything but pain and rage inside of him. Was it the day he killed Uvogin? The day he truly declared and submitted to his resolve and by extension his rage? The silence in the room began ever apparent to the blonde boy, his hands trembling slightly under his chin. He lowered his arms down to the couch on either side of him, calming their shaking with a light dig of his nails into the sofa. He stood up, the light casting a warm, orange glow on his pale skin, Kurapika’s long eyelashes casting a shadow down onto his cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>This wasn’t the time. Kurapika had somewhere to go. He brushed his pants off lightly, the cold chains that connected from his fingers down to his wrist quietly clinging against one another. He took quick steps towards the door, as if determined to leave now before being pulled back into the room by some inexplicable force, but his eyes lingered on the jars that rested in his peripheral vision. Taunting him and the emotions inside him, the emotions that would awaken and push themselves into his eyes at the smallest jabs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>He had to learn to control that better, didn’t he?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika let himself hesitate for no longer, forcing his head away from what rested on his table and striding out of his apartment, wearing a black suit and tie. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked, his mind shifting subjects. He had an important arrangement to attend to currently. And, whether for the better or worse, he knew it’d be interesting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>A car drive later, Kurapika found himself standing in the bustling market of Yorknew city. He could remember when Killua, Gon, Leorio and him had met up here two months after passing the Hunter Exam. How long ago was that now? Three… Five years, maybe? Five years. The thought nearly made him halt. They had met at other intervals after the Yorknew Auction, but it was surely nearing a year and a half since he had seen the others now. A distant feeling of longing throbbed in his chest. A distant feeling that he ignored, lifting his chin as he continued walking. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          Everyone in the group had been consumed with work and whatever ambitions they had on hand. Kurapika had heard Gon and Killua recently reunited after a while of being separated. Gon had began training with his Nen again, the incident with Pitou having made him loose it earlier on. He didn't know how he had recovered his Nen and his body, but he was just glad Gon was still alive. Guilt wrenched and curled in his stomach. He remembered hearing about what happened to the younger boys. He wanted to fly over as soon as he could, he wanted to be by their side as they recovered, but after the Troupe had taken them hostage during the Yorknew auctions those years ago sense had been knocked into him. The Spiders were dangerous. This… This was a path Kurapika needed to go down alone. He tried not to make too much contact with his friends anymore to keep them safe; which is why he planned to keep this encounter brief. A quick and friendly exchange before biding farewell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika allowed his attention to melt into the crowd. The smell of cheap street food wafted through the air, admittedly tempting him to dip into one of those stalls and slap down a ten dollar bill for some mediocre churros or half-assed hotdogs. He restrained himself. His gaze sorted through the crowd, looking for any hints of the man he was looking for, but people pushed by and dipped into crowds erratically and unpredictably. It was akin to a road with no traffic laws, people heading in any which direction at the same time. People would often bump into his lean shoulders, and though he looked small he was able to keep his ground against such force much easier than was often assumed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>The chain user’s brown-gray eyes scanned the crowd, but there was still no sign of him in the crowds- No, instead it looked like he was the one who was found first, turning at the sound of the man’s voice with a startled expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“KURAPIKA!” Leorio called, a wide, slanted grin on his face. His short brown hair was so dark it could be mistaken as black, his olive complexion having picked up more of a tan compared to the last time Kurapika had seen Leorio. He carried his suitcase as per usual, held over his shoulder by his right hand. The blonde haired boy couldn’t stop a smile from slipping onto his face as Leorio strided forward.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Where’ve you been all this time?? I tried texting you, you know, and I never got a response? What’s that all about?” Despite his complaining, Leorio’s grin still stretched cheek to cheek. Kurapika chuckled, hands in his pockets as he tilted his head upwards to face Leorio, who was quite a few inches taller. “I’ve been busy,” The shorter male responds with an amused voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Leorio groans as if this answer was such an unacceptable response that he couldn’t fathom how Kurapika could let such a thing slip from his lips, throwing his head back in exasperation. “That is-” He jabs a finger towards Kurapika. “-No excuse! Stay in contact next time, okay?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>The blonde boy smiled. He had gotten Leorio’s texts earlier, but his fingers had hesitated above the screen of his phone, lingering there and unable to move forward for whatever reason. He had simply turned away and shut his phone off. His eyes flickered with something darker for a moment before closing his eyes as he looked towards Leorio again. “I can’t promise I will,” Kurapika answered, his voice sly as he poked at his tall friend knowing full well it’d annoy him. It may have been intended jokingly, but it was the truth nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As much as he would like to justify it as him being truly busy, he knew he could make time to send a two-word text no matter his schedules. Something about being near friends and companions, especially Leorio, made him feel… wrong and even guilty as of late. It wasn’t the man’s behavior or personality itself, nor were their interactions unpleasant to Kurapika. He enjoyed them- And he cared deeply for Leorio and any other of his friends. So what made him shy away from these interactions?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Leorio jutted his chin up, glaring down at Kurapika. “You better rethink that, then!” The chain user smiled, opening his eyes again to look up to the taller male. As much as Leorio would try to look intimidating, Kurapika always found it charming instead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>...Charming?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>He questioned his own thoughts for a second, blinking once and then twice before shaking his head a bit with a small smile. “I’ll be heading out, Leorio. I have work to do,” he said as he straightened his tie, as if signifying that he had professional things to do and professional places to be. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Leorio took no such answer, grabbing Kurapika’s shoulder before he could turn to leave. His eyes flicked back to the taller male’s face. “Leorio…?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“That’s bullshit!” Leorio declared, glaring at the blonde boy. “We haven’t even been here for five minutes yet!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kurapika paused. Really? It had felt like longer than that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  
  <span>“Skip the work for a night and let’s hang out at the bar!” Leorio proposed with a grin. A night at the bar didn’t sound too bad. It had been a while since he drank.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...Except it didn’t look like he’d be the one downing alcohol tonight. Kurapika watched as Leorio tilted his head back, the glass of the cup he held pressing against his lips as he swallowed down another large sip. What was this? His sixth? Even though it was but a drunken ramble that Leorio would forget by tomorrow morning, Kurapika listened to him as he stumbled over his words and ranted. “...So much damn studying! It’s gonna take me another EIGHT years to become a doc! EIGHT years!” He seemed to melt with a heavy sigh, completely downtrodden and beaten from his apparently horrendous amounts of studying. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The bar held a nice atmosphere. People talked, and the noise of so many people talking so freely felt nice. Cozy, even. The room was pleasantly warm, and the alcohol was good. Not that Kurapika had drank much, his first glass still in his hand after the two hours they had been here. At least one of them needed to be sober to drive them home, and Leorio was far past tipsy by this point. Kurapika sloshed around the alcohol inside the glass lightly as he swayed the cup back and forth in his hand, eyes focusing on that motion before flicking back over to Leorio.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You’re a dramatic drunk,” Kurapika spoke, propping his chin onto his palm, elbow resting on the counter. Leorio whined in response, running his hands through his dark brown hair as if the stress was too much to bear. It was kind of endearing, Kurapika thought to himself with a small chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You just wouldn’t get it, y’know!” The whine in Leorio’s tone persisted. Kurapika could feel the tickle of his breath against his cheek. Smelled like booze. He didn’t mind the smell all that much, to be frank. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>The taller male opened his mouth to presumably continue complaining, but the bartender caught his eye as she passed by him, a bubbly giggle slipping from Leorio’s mouth. Kurapika sighed as Leorio attempted to call after her to get her to give him another drink despite his current one still being half full. It was probably time for his drinking spree to end for tonight. The blonde male reached over and grabbed Leorio’s cup from the table while he was distracted, shoving both Leorio’s and his own glass cups towards the other direction of the counter as he stood. “Let’s head out, Leorio.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          “Mmmm…” Leorio leaned backwards to face Kurapika, who was now lingering behind his chair as he waited for him to get up. “I don’t want to~”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"Leorio.</span>
  </em>
  <span> You're going home</span>
  <em>
    <span>." </span>
  </em>
  <span>With a giggle, Leorio finally listened and stood up, swaying a bit and laughing like an idiot at his own lack of balance as he followed after Kurapika. Kurapika's walking slowed as he neared his car, and he dug his hands into his pockets before pressing a finger into the button to unlock his car, a small click sounding. He opened the back door for Leorio. "I don't want to sit in the back," the man grumbled as he stumbled in despite his protests.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>           Kurapika closed the door behind him and slid into the front seat, starting up the car and adjusting the rear view mirror so he could keep an eye on Leorio. He looked nice, Kurapika thought to himself. His gaze lingered on the image of Leorio in the mirror for a few moments, admiring his features with a calm mind as he began driving before shifting back to the road. The man was half asleep in the back, eyes closed and leaning against the window.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>         "Leorio, what's your address?" Kurapika asked in a fairly flat tone, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on his lap as he drove. Leorio stirred, eyes opening slightly. "Eh?" He asked, lip jutting out a bit as if trying to process why Kurapika could possibly want such information. "What? Are you a stalker, huh?!" Leorio demanded an answer with a challenge to his voice, the corner's of Kurapika's mouth tugging upwards at his drunken reaction. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Pft. I'm just taking you home, old man." Leorio was only two years older, but Kurapika enjoyed teasing him about it nonetheless. He really couldn't be blamed for it. With Leorio's business-man like outfit and suitcase, he really did come off as older. He wondered how he'd look in something else, like a regular t-shirt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...Or even no shirt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kurapika's hand gripped the wheel tighter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He swatted the thought from his mind, irritated at himself for even allowing such a notion to appear in his head. He heard Leorio grumbling with slurred words and, having zoned out a bit earlier, focused in on listening to his words again. "... I'm a youthful, charming young man!" He whined, to which Kurapika chuckled at.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"And your address is…?" Leorio had completely forgotten that Kurapika had even asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio scratched his chin. "Er, take a… Uh~...." He drew his words out as he scratched his chin clumsily, trying to remember through his drunken mind. "Left!" He snapped, a wide smile on his face as if proud he managed to figure it out. Leorio giggled as Kurapika turned into what he assumed was Leorio's apartment, a nice building with accents of dark brown brick. Kurapika parked the car and ducked his head on the way out, Leorio already stumbling out of the back seat with another giggle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While maybe he wasn't thrilled to be taking care of a drunk Leorio, it didn't bother him too much at the same time</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blonde boy followed Leorio towards the building. Once Leorio was walking into the building, Kurapika leaned against the door of the front lobby and spoke up. "I'm going to head out, Leorio. See you later?" The last part came off his lips more of a question than Kurapika intended. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio turned around, squinting and tilting his head to the side a bit. "Eh? What do you mean? You can't just skitter away now," Leorio whined. Kurapika cringed a bit; He made it sound like he had been leading the dark brown haired male on throughout the night or something devious. The woman attending the front desk of the lobby looked annoyed at the ruckus the taller man was causing, and Kurapika shot her an apologetic look. "Stay the night!" Leorio insisted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kurapika paused as he stared at Leorio before breaking into a chuckle. "Go to bed. You're drunk as hell." His behavior, although frankly a bit embarrassing, was amusing all the same. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dark haired man giggled. "Come sleep with me, Kura~pika~" He drew out the A's in the boy's name.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kurapika? Sleeping with him? Sleeping with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kurapika stiffened immediately, feeling heat rise to his cheeks as his heart nearly skipped a beat. Leorio… Was drunk as hell, without a single doubt. It was an empty offer driven by the alcohol coursing through him, but it still made his heart rate pick up for a few moments before coming to his senses.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You're going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow. Go to bed, seriously."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio turned with an annoyed groan, mumbling to himself as he dragged his feet into the elevator. Kurapika watched him as he jutted his finger into one of the floor buttons on the elevator's wall, the blonde boy remaining to make sure he would get up the elevator all right. "Cya, Leorio," Kurapika called as the elevator doors closed, and he headed out of the doors of the apartments and into his car once again. Kurapika paused, his cheeks still dusted with pink. Jesus, that was… Embarrassing. He hoped Leorio wouldn't remember that out of all things. He looked back up to the road and pulled out of the parking lot. Time to head back home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once he arrived, he walked into his room and plopped down onto his bed, stretching his arms with a hefty sigh. He was tired, having had to put in quite the work to drag Leorio back to his house and to his room. He changed out of his suit and into comfier pajamas before burrowing under his sheets, closing his eyes. His mind lingered on the sight of Leorio in the back seat of his car, hearing Leorio's voice in the back of his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Come sleep with me, Kura~Pika~" </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hangover X and X Grabbing Lunch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The one where they go out for lunch</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just want to preface that I made a few changes from the canon here! The Nostrade family doesn't end up under Kurapika, and Neon develops another similar ability after Chrollo steals her previous one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A drowsy, aching feeling weighs Leorio's body down as he awakes, eyes opening slowly with a groan. He had a headache, and it felt like his brain was slamming against his skill as he rolls onto his back, resting his hands over his face and running them up through his hair. At least he was in his own bedroom and not with some rando. He had only blurry memories of the night, but he could at least remember getting driven home by Kurapika.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh shit. Kurapika. Leorio sighed, resting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes with a grunt. He hoped he wasn't too much of a little shit to deal with last night. He knew his drunken tendencies, after all- whining, complaining, and flirting with anything that moved. It was an unfortunate behavior, really.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio turned to the side, rubbing his temples for a moment before reaching for his phone, which was still in his pocket. He clicked it on and opened his contacts list, finding the chain user quickly and opening their messages. They were painfully dry, Leorio often sending several messages all on different days trying to contact him, only to get a response after half a dozen. A response containing two to three words, that is. It was probably  hopeless, but Leorio shot a text towards the blonde boy nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio, 9:38 AM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>sorry for getting drunk (-3-)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He turned away from the phone, expecting no response any time soon, if at all. He was pleasantly surprised when he heard a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>ding</span>
  </em>
  <span> coming from his phone, almost tripping over himself to grab the phone and click into the message.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Kurapika, 9:38 AM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It's fine, did you get to your room alright?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio grinned. Both a response and a question to go along with that? Was this just a blessed day? He nearly forgot about his headache as he responded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio, 9:38 AM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>yessir!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He awaited a response for a good few minutes, but it seemed that was to be the extent of their conversation. Leorio sighed, a tinge of disappointment flickering in him as he stood to go take a bathe himself, grabbing some fresh clothes on his way to his bathroom. He dipped into the shower and twisted the showerhead on, jumping back as to avoid the cold water of the shower splashing against his still clothed body. Leorio stripped himself of his clothing, pulling off his suit and pants before stepping into the shower, the water having warmed after being run for a few minutes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed softly as he dipped under the water, enjoying it running down his back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> He hadn’t realized his back was sore until now, but the warmth of the water against his skin soothed the dull pain. Maybe it’d clear his drowsy mind a bit too. Every thought felt like it was lagging behind a bit; He really should’ve drank less.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> Leorio tilted his head upwards and closed his eyes, a faint image of Kurapika flashing in his mind. The blonde male was… different these days. He could remember his first interactions with Kurapika, some five years ago on that big, rickety ship on its way to the Hunter exam. He remembered Kurapika as always being level headed and on the quieter side, but still a bit more… What was the right world? Passionate? No, Kurapika's passion and resolve hadn't faltered over the years. Lively would be a better word. He formerly had a different light to his eyes, especially around Gon, Killua, or himself. Was he just worn out, maybe? Kurapika could use a break. He truly was constantly working, busting his ass 24/7 under the Nostrade family. Maybe that was all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...No. That's just what Leorio wanted to believe, for Kurapika's sake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio reached for some 2 in 1 shampoo-conditioner, rubbing it into his hair softly. Of course there was more to Kurapika's gradual change than just overworking himself. Leorio may act like a buffoon sometimes, but he's not stupid. Kurapika's ambitions and goals were driven nearly entirely off a burning hatred, and the thought of the toll that would take was enough to make Leorio pause. Admittedly, he had been worried about the chain user for a… long time, to say the least. He grimaced knowing that he might've been able to help Kurapika in the past, and guilt curled in his stomach. Where had he been, anyways? Studying? Sleeping? Fucking around? Gon and Killua were away doing their own things, whatever that may be. Probably training and exploring.  Leorio had been living easy for the most part, his biggest concern studying and paying rent. Kurapika, meanwhile… Kurapika had been working tirelessly, probably being slowly eaten alive by his anger and loneliness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jeez. The thought of it made Leorio feel like a shitbag. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>He finished cleaning his hair, briefly scrubbing over his olive skin with a bar of soap. He wouldn’t mind hanging out with Kurapika more. Even as closed off as he was, the blonde boy was still kind-natured and pleasant to chill with. He wondered if the chain user still had the sass he had carried oh so proudly those years ago, and Leorio’s eyes twinkled with nostalgia as he once again recalled their first meeting on the ship to the Hunter Exam. For whatever reason, his mind tended to wander back to that time a lot. A small chuckle slipped from his lips as he stepped out of the shower, turning the water off on his way out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika sat in the front seat, listening to Neon’s never-ending talking in the back of the car as he drove. They were headed to some high-class socialite gathering that apparently had ties to the underworld. He was unsure of the fine details, but he did know that prominent people, including important people in the underworld, were paying big bucks to get a reading from Neon tonight. Her Nen ability had been lost briefly after the Yorknew auctions, but she had managed to work through it. Kurapika hadn’t thought she would’ve been able to do it, but she had developed another Nen ability; A variant of her previous one, in which the ability could read fortunes through palm readings rather than simply writing the future. The Nen ability would almost use her as a vessel, and Neon would speak any information that the palm reading would supposedly reveal.  This was both fortunate and unlucky for Kurapika. Light Nostrade’s position as boss would’ve been threatened if his daughter lost her ability, and the family would’ve undoubtedly collapsed; That could’ve jeopardized Kurapika’s current lifestyle, with the nice apartment that was paid for by the Nostrades and the important connections the job gave him. However, if such was the situation it was probable he could’ve taken the reins of the family. Oh well. For now, Kurapika was fine with his standing. He would reclaim more of his people’s eyes before elevating his position. And along with that, he’d be able to lay low for a bit. He was in more danger now that the Spiders knew of his affiliations. The Spiders… he felt anger clawing at his chest, writhing and begging to be let free.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…Now was not the time for that train of thought. He shifted his thoughts elsewhere, trying to concentrate on Neon's voice droning on and on about clothes and trinkets she wanted her hands on, but he didn't find that particularly pleasant to listen in on. Kurapika's gaze steeled on the road ahead of him. Another fifteen minutes until they arrived. After that, another couple of hours and he was free. The sky was already darkening, stars faintly visible and the moon peeking up from behind a skyscraper. It’d be late by the time he got home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Time passed in a strange way when you were bored and unoccupied. It stumbled by clumsily, and at some intervals five minutes would feel like thirty. In others, an hour would feel like not more than a dozen minutes had passed. He found himself surprised every time he glanced at his watch, sometimes disappointed at how the minutes seemed to be dragging their feet and sometimes pleased with the swift passing of time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>His hand dipped into his pocket, palm closing around his phone as he briefly glanced around. It was a nice place. It was a few dozen floors above ground, the entirely glass walls giving an enticing view of the city below for the rich to look down on. Being so high above everything else made the cars whizzing through roads look like nothing but props, the people hurrying down the sidewalks hardly anything other than specks of color. His gaze lifted to the dark sky that hung above the skyscrapers, tentatively pressing his free hand against the glass before turning to face the other way again. The place smelled of tobacco and smoke. For such a high-class gathering, it almost felt… sleazy. In the way that only the filthy rich ever were able to be sleazy. His attention flicked between several different sources of commotion. Socialites laughing and talking with glasses of champagne in hand; Men in suits hunched over one of the poker tables in the corner; Neon, sat at the bar tracing her thumbs over the lines of a customer’s palm, her Nen ability curled over her shoulder behind her. It looked similar to the one she had possessed previously. He wondered to himself why the girl had needed to develop another in the first place. Something clearly caused the loss of her previous Nen ability. Perhaps it’d have ties to the Spiders.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika pulled his phone from his pocket, unlocking it with a press of his thumb against the sensor. His eyebrows raised slightly to see a message from Leorio,  a light sigh parting from his lips as he brushed a strand of blonde hair from his forehead. He clicked into the message. He really shouldn’t be on his phone right now, but… He had been here for a while. A quick glance at his phone was the only break he’d take. He wouldn’t do it again, either.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio, 1:34 PM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>up to grab lunch?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio, 2:12 PM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>(T-T)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>He glanced up to the time displayed on his phone. It was around 10 PM now. His attention melted back to Leorio’s texts, scoffing quietly. He almost got second hand embarrassment every time Leorio would send one of those childish emotions... It was amusing at the same time, though. He hesitated for a moment, but eventually gave in and allowed himself to reply to the offer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Kurapika, 10:15 PM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Able to tomorrow?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>He turned his attention back to the event, and time slowed from there, it felt. Every minute felt as if time had grabbed it and stretched it as long as it could, Kurapika rooted in his position by the window keeping watch as each second dragged by. The longer he spent standing there, the more he longed for the day to pass and for him to be sat in front of Leorio, talking over some good, warm food. He found his mind drifting away at the thought, but he quickly snapped back to reality. He was a bodyguard and a member of the Nostrade mafia family, not some teenage girl daydreaming during her job. It was going to remain that way, he decided as he returned his mind to more important, proper thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>The gentle warmth of the sun felt good against the back of his neck, the air light and the breeze soft against his skin. Kurapika felt slightly tired still, having ended up staying at the event far past 1 in the morning; Still, he had endured way more strenuous hours before. He felt almost disappointed in himself, to be tired after a work shift where all he did was stand. He’d do better next time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Kurapika spotted a head of dark, spiked up hair jutting up from the crowd and he couldn’t help but chuckle. The shorter male strided forward, weaving through the crowds that tended to populate the sidewalks on Saturdays like this and managing to place a hand on Leorio’s shoulder. “Leorio!” Kurapika called, and the dark haired man turned around with a startled expression. It quickly lifted into a warm grin, Leorio speaking up in that loud voice of his. “I was looking for you, bastard!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>The two of them managed to find themselves in a small cafe. It was a nice place, not too crowded or loud but not too uptight either. A casual atmosphere, if you would. Any fancier and it might look like a date. Leorio was sat in front of him with a menu in hand, leaning back in his chair with his eyes squinted slightly. He wondered if Leorio’s hair would be as fluffy as it looked, should he run his fingers through it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kurapika flinched back, rubbing the back of his neck as his attention flicked back to the menu. He really shouldn’t be thinking of these things about his friend. They were weird, maybe even intrusive to a degree. Instead, he focused his mind completely on the menu, as if trying to force his brain to vigorously wash away any hints of Leorio in his thoughts. Having someone linger in his thoughts for reasons fueled by something other than rage or sorrow felt… Strange. But he could get used to it, and that’s the part that unsettled him. There was a certain level of vulnerability in allowing the thought of someone to take shelter in your mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Awhh, damn!” Leorio whined, Kurapika’s gaze drifting up to him. “I have no idea what I’ll get. This all looks too damn good.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>The blonde chuckled. “It’s all just food. It’s not like this stuff will disappear off the menu if you don’t order it today.” Kurapika looked amused, but Leorio shot him a glare. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’know, this is a very serious matter!” Leorio protested jokingly. “ You shouldn’t underestimate the importance of a good meal, Kurapika.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pft!” Kurapika felt a smile playing at his lips, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards. “You’re so stupid sometimes, Leorio.” The dark haired man scoffed, looking back to his menu as if angered. Kurapika was worried at first that he came off too rude, but found himself relieved quickly. Despite the theatrics, Leorio still had a warm grin on his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>After a few minutes of waiting they had finally gotten their food, the plates clinking against the table as the waitress placed the plates in front of them. “Enjoy!” She called with a peppy tone, Leorio’s gaze following her for a few moments after she turned around. Kurapika noted this with some exasperation, entertained by the antics of his friend. And maybe a little annoyed at the same time. “Still a pervert? I would’ve thought you’d matured by now.”</span>
  
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leorio leaned forward. “What can I say? I like pretty things,” He said with a breathy chuckle.. His warm eyes were pinned on Kurapika, and he had a cocky grin on his face. Something about it had heat rushing towards Kurapika’s cheeks and his heart racing. He was sure his face was dusted a light pink right now, and it felt like not only their conversation but time as a whole had paused for this moment, only to resume when Leorio leaned back and cleared his throat. The dark haired man’s face was a bit red, but he acted in such a casual way that Kurapika wondered if the pause that just happened existed only in his mind. “Jeez, Kurapika! You really are some sort of puritan,” Leorio said with a laugh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I just don’t find the appeal of women… and people at all in that way,” Kurapika muttered, lifting his chin as he poked at his food. Leorio paused with a blink, tapping his fork against his plate. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Have you ever even had a crush, Kurapika? Like, y’know, someone you like.” Kurapika gave him a glare, annoyed that Leorio would think he was so clueless he wouldn’t know what a crush was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“No, I haven’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Okay, what about someone you just find hot?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“No, I haven’t,” Kurapika repeated, resting his chin on his palm with his elbow propped on the table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>Leorio sighed almost melodramatically, leaning back in his chair. “Not even with this handsome hunk of a man in front of you!?” He winked with a playful grin, and Kurapika sent another glare his way. A glare that didn’t change the fact that his cheeks were, once again, a bright pink color.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Fuck off, horndog. You’d have to do better than that,” Kurapika said nonchalantly, taking a sip of his water. Damn this tall man and his jokes; Kurapika’s calm demeanor didn’t change the fact that he was still flustered inside.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Pft, don’t entertain yourself with the idea. I’m way out of your league, y’know.” Leorio grinned as Kurapika rolled his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Well, two nights ago you were pretty desperate to sleep with me.” Kurapika smirked as Leorio went silent, face turning red from embarrassment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, for real?! I didn’t like, do anything bad, right?” Leorio’s cocky humor dropped immediately as he stuttered over his words, leaning forward towards Kurapika with wide eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“ </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Come stay the night, Kurapika~’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>“The blonde imitated with a jokingly mocking grin, Leorio near fuming with that tough guy persona he always took on when flustered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You bastar-!” His face turned red with embarrassment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>“ </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Come sleep with me, Kurapika~’ “</span>
  </em>
  <span> The smaller male continued on his portrayal of the drunken Leorio, laughing as the other male stumbled over his words to deny these allegations. How long had it been since he’d laughed with someone like this? Kurapika felt warm. He had forgotten what it had felt like to be happy like this; And Kurapika soon found himself losing track of time as they laughed and joked and talked, and for the first time in a while it wasn’t out of boredom.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <span>He… could get used to this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was fun to write! It was on the slower side but I enjoyed writing Leorio's POV, even if it was brief. Getting to see Kurapika get a bit more comfortable there at the end was also a very pleasant scene to write (even if I did get stuck on the dialogue for a bit lmao.)</p>
<p>Comments and kudos are basically like food to me when it comes to writing! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feedback, so feel free to leave a comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Buddies  X and X Getting Drinks (Again)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
  <span>Warm light cast from the sunset filtered into Leorio’s apartment through the window, the dark-haired man lounging on a chair listening to Zepile complain about getting scammed at a recent auction. The two were drinking buddies of sorts, and occasionally they’d hang out over a few cups of beer and some shitty action movie that really only served as background noise for their talking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Oh, but I got my Hunter license finally!</span>
  <b>” </b>
  <span>Zepile abruptly interrupted his own  complaining,  dug into his pocket and flashed the license towards Leorio with a cocky grin. “Only took three fuckin’ years. Killua knocked me out the first exam,  I failed the second one, and finally got it on the third.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio raised an eyebrow, looking from the TV screen to Zepile. Killua had knocked him out? As if reading his thoughts, Zepile dismissed the concern with a wave of his hand. “Whatever. Kid apologized a year or two later, said he was in a rush at the time or some shit. It is what it is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds like something Killua would do.” Leorio chuckled. He wondered how him and Gon were doing these days. Maybe he could go see them soon with Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“So, any girls recently? Or dudes. You get the point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Hm…” He found ‘no’ on the tip of his tongue, but an image of Kurapika flashing in his mind made him pause. Oh shit. Was he.. Developing feelings for the blonde? A heavy sigh parted from his lips and he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. Leorio wasn’t oblivious to his feelings, but he still hadn’t realized until now why he had been feeling strange around Kurapika. This… made a lot of sense. He valued all of his friends greatly and loved being near them, but hanging out with Kurapika was on an entirely different level and he found himself always looking forward to meeting him. They’d hung out a few more times since getting lunch over the last month, and each time had Leorio sad that he had to leave at the end of the day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“...Yeah, there’s one,” Leorio admitted, running his hands through his hair. Zepile looked curious as the taller male dug out his phone from his pocket, finding a photo of Kurapika from fairly recently, when they had grabbed a drink two nights ago. He had snapped a photo of him grinning enthusiastically in front of a pissed-looking Kurapika (who Leorio had been teasing, of course.) He chuckled as he remembered the shorter male nearly wringing his neck for taking a photo out of nowhere like that. He tossed the phone towards Zepile who, upon catching it, let out a hearty laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Chick’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> too good for you, geezer. Try to score with someone more on your level.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Chick’s a dude, and I’m very confident in my chances.” Leorio jokingly gave him a glare as Zepile laughed at him, but in truth the second part was a lie. He hadn’t seen Kurapika express interest in anything remotely romantic in all his time knowing him, and part of him doubted he would be the one to flip that around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile was flicking through Leorio’s camera roll now. They were mainly photos of textbook pages he really needed to memorize or medical diagrams; He didn’t do a ton of exciting shit, truthfully. Once in a while there’d be a drunk selfie of himself, but Zepile seemed to find something interesting, eyes widening. “Damn! You’ve known him for this long?” Zepile flipped the phone towards him, displaying a photo of Leorio, Kurapika, Gon and Killua all together, dated from nearly three years ago. He smiled as he recalled just how close they used to be It was nice getting to hang out with Kurapika more nowadays. Kurapika responded to maybe… a third of his texts now? Which honestly sounded quite pathetic, but… Still. It was a big step up. Maybe they would hang out even more… maybe even as much as they used to, back when they were fresh out of the Hunter Exam.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio leaned back in his chair, taking another sip of beer. “Yeah, I’ve known Kurapika since we took the Hunter Exam together… Around five years ago, I think? Something like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile raised his eyebrows. “Have you been after that ass for</span>
  <em>
    <span> that l</span>
  </em>
  <span>ong?” Leorio nearly spit out his drink, face red. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“My god! Calm yourself a bit!” Leorio himself could be quite vulgar and he was aware of this, but it sounded so much more... intimate when talking that way about Kurapika. “I saw Kurapika as only a friend until very recently... And he’s not just some potential one-night stand. It’s not like that, okay?! For real.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“You’re seriously gonna tell me you never even considered him as anything else until now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I mean, I always thought he was…” He paused, looking for a good word. Hot? Cute? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Okay, maybe he should keep that to himself. “I always thought he was attractive.” Leorio said this with a shrug. “But I’m not just looking for a quickie. I want something more genuine than that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile seemed a bit surprised, but was amused nonetheless. “I didn’t take you for a relationship type of guy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Usually, I’m not. It’s not like I avoid them, but I’m usually just a… Bros over hoes guy, if you will. I just don’t get feelings for one-night stands. Or anyone for that matter, at least not in the last five or so years until now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile laughed. “Alright, Leorio. No bullshit here; What do you think your chances are with him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio groaned, raking a hand through his hair. “Ok, well… He’s never shown interest in anyone </span>
  <em>
    <span>once, </span>
  </em>
  <span>in all the time I’ve known him. He does tend to get flustered easily when I joke around with him, but...” Leorio thought back to their encounters. Kurapika did get embarrassed easily around Leorio, didn’t he? Considering the blonde acted so stoic and quiet in public, Leorio always found Kurapika cute when flustered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“...But that could just be because he hardly ever gets joked around with like that.” Zepile finished the sentence for Leorio before laughing at Leorio’s distraught state. “Damn! You’re like a teenage girl with her first crush!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That earned a scowl from Leorio. “Fuck off, bastard,” he grumbled with a roll of eyes, Zepile still laughing in the background- But Zepile’s laughing cut off abruptly, his eyes widening as he stared down at the screen of Leorio’s phone, which was still in his hand from when he was going through his camera roll.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Speak of the devil! Your crush texted you, loverboy!” Leorio jolted upwards, nearly stumbling off the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For real?! Give me the phone!” Zepile obliged with a cocky grin, tossing the phone to Leorio, who nearly dropped it as he fumbled to open his texts, eyes wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no message from Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio grabbed a pillow from the couch and sent it flying at Zepile with no hesitation, the pillow slamming into his face. “You fucker!” He yelled as Zepile laughed his ass off almost hysterically, Leorio fuming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Ugh, fuck right off!” He yelled, pissed beyond comprehension. “You’re so annoying, dumbass!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile wiped away a little tear that had formed from laughing too hard at Leorio. “You should’ve seen your face! You would be laughing too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I should just kick your ass out of my apartment right now,” Leorio grumbles, glaring daggers at Zepile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Hey! I was just playing around, no need for that!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio scoffed, leaning back in his chair. “I could be hanging out with Kurapika right now, you know. Instead I have to endure your bullshittery?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Woah, that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>harsh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Leorio!” Zepile laughed. “I thought you were a bros over hoes type of dude, what happened to that?!”</span>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio scoffed. “Kurapika isn’t a hoe, though. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> more of a bro than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, shit! I’ve been outdone,” Zepile said with a melodramatic sigh, rubbing his eyes as if tearing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Jeez, I’ll need a few more beers to deal with you,” Leorio grumbled as he took another sip of his drink, looking down at his phone and beginning to type something. Zepile raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and craning his neck to try to see Leorio’s phone to no avail. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio, 5:22 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Want to go to the bar? (^ 3 ^)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zepile snatched the phone from his hands as he pressed sent, Leorio’s arm shooting forward to try and get it back to no avail (the other man having jumped back into his place on the armchair.) Leorio leaned back with an exasperated sigh as Zepile laughed and scrolled through his messages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“These are dry as hell, Leorio! Does this guy </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> text you first!?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The silent glare gave Zepile enough of an answer, bursting into laughter once again. Yeah, Kurapika still wasn’t one to text him first, even if he was responding more and more often.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“No </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonder</span>
  </em>
  <span> you got so excited when I said he texted you! That would be like the equivalent of hitting fourth base with this dude!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Shut the hell up, Zepile!” Leorio’s face was a bit red, crossing his arms as his friend went on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“And what the hell is with all these little emoticons!” He broke into a fit of laughter again, Leorio not nearly as amused. “You really do sound like a teenage girl!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio leaped forward and snatched his phone back, flicking his friend off with his other hand as he plopped back down onto the couch. “You’re such a fucktard, Zepile.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Jeez, at least tell me this guy is a bit more expressive face to face!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He couldn’t stop his mind from slipping to the warm feeling he always got when Kurapika would have that little smile of his. He was always too reserved and distant for a full grin, so Leorio often found himself enjoying the way the blonde’s lips would tug upwards ever so slightly. Leorio couldn’t help but chuckle. “Shut up, bastard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile stood with a stretch, casting a glance to the movie- which now had the credits rolling- and then back to Leorio. “Okay, try not to break into tears at this, but I have places to be and things to do, so I’m heading out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio threw his head back dramatically, a heavy sigh leaving from his lips. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Finally!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile grabbed his keys as he dusted his pants off. “I know it’ll be boring without me here, but try not to wallow in your heartbreak and despair over me leaving, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Fuck you,” Leorio said with a laugh, Zepile waving goodbye with a grin before turning and heading out. Having drinking buddies was nice, even if Zepile did know how to piss him off sometimes. It was all with good intentions anyways. Probably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He looked back down to his phone, eyes lighting up and a grin appearing on his face. Looks like he wouldn’t be bored all night after all.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Leorio, 5:22 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Want to go to the bar? (^ 3 ^)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kurapika, 5:23 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yep</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but chuckle at how short and basic the response was as he stood up, wasting no time in pulling his suit over his head and heading out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio hadn’t realized how it was the time of year where it began to get colder outside until he walked into the bar and was greeted with the pleasant warmth of the building, almost letting out a small, happy sigh as he found a table off to the side of the room and sat there. He was no drunkard, but he did enjoy the occasional trip to the bar every week or so. Recently he had been busier with studying than usual, so being able to sit down and relax in the comforting warmth of his favorite bar in the city was nice. Last time he had been here was a few weeks ago, when he and Kurapika had met up for a night. His gaze shifted to the doorway, where he awaited the shorter male to arrive. Kurapika wasn’t one to be late, so he didn’t suspect it’d take long at all. In the meanwhile, he allowed his mind to calm. It was hard to be stressed out in such a place, with the faint smell of high-quality ale and scented handles soothing any stresses he had been unknowingly carrying before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His attention was pulled away from waiting for Kurapika to appear at the front doors and he instead found himself recalling his conversations with Zepile earlier. He pinched the bridge of his nose softly, closing his eyes and leaning back with a small sigh. He always knew he was attracted to Kurapika physically, but… The realization he had over his emotional attraction to him was still a bit surprising to Leorio. He wasn’t going to deny his feelings aimlessly with hopes of fooling himself. He was familiar with… Well, sleeping around. He wasn’t some womanizer, but once in a while he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> go home with a woman. Kurapika, though, he wanted more than a night with. Although, he didn’t know that he’d complain should he get one with him. He had thought about the possibility before. It wasn't an unpleasant thought at all, and he wondered how Kurapika would look when-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio’s thoughts were a step away from dangerous territory when he felt a small hand on his shoulder, causing his eyes to snap open and for him to jolt back in his seat slightly. His cheeks were powdered with an ever so faint pink color as he gave Kurapika (who stood over him with that little smile of his) a nervous laugh. “Hah… Sorry, didn’t see you there.” It felt like he had gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t have, even if his thoughts weren’t visible to Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika sat down across from Leorio in their booth, shrugging with a corner of his mouth tugging upwards. “I didn’t arrive too long after you, did I? Maybe you should go home and sleep for a bit,” He teased. Leorio crossed his arms with a scowl as he leaned back, but he couldn’t help but admire the boy across from him. His fair skin didn’t seem to have a single stray freckle or scar, almost impossibly smooth. It was framed by the shorter male’s light blonde hair that was surely soft to the touch, small golden strands cast over his cheeks. His gray eyes peeked up curiously at Leorio through his lashes, and the taller man chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s so funny?” Kurapika inquired, brushing a strand of his hair from his face as if to see Leorio better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, head tilting to the side a bit as if he was some sort of cat trying to decipher what Leorio found so amusing- Which served to earn another laugh from the dark haired man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika laced his fingers together and rested his hands under his chin, elbows sat against the table as he gazed up at Leorio. “Is there something on my face? What is it that you find so funny?” He asked again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look so sweet and innocent, y’know, and then act all stoic. It’s cute.” Leorio felt himself freeze right after he felt the last word leaving his mouth. Kurapika stared forwards at him like he didn’t hear what he said, blinking once, and then twice, and then tilting his head to the side a bit once again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cute?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He hadn’t meant to say cute. As if he had just now processed what he had said, Leorio jolted forwards, planting his hands on the table as he rapidly stumbled over words to correct himself, tone loud enough to where it would warrant a few annoyed glances if the bar weren’t as busy and full as it was tonight.  “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I- I mean- You look- It’s very…” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kurapika raised an eyebrow.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “</span>
  </em>
  <span>It- It makes you look like a moron! Bastard!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde was silent for a moment, and Leorio couldn’t help but wonder if he’d fucked up until a soft giggle bubbled from Kurapika’s lips. Leorio felt his heart flutter as the blonde covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he laughed. It was… oddly cute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damn it. Leorio groaned. Damn that word and the way it kept coming into his mind whenever Kurapika did literally anything. He glared at Kurapika, feeling heat pool into his cheeks and knowing his face must be red. “Damn you,” he mumbled, “You know what I meant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but notice that Kurapika’s face was also a light shade of pink, the blonde boy rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes shifted away from Leorio and to the bar, where he read the drink options from the large board propped behind the counter. Leorio watched him for a bit, expecting some type of remark or joke or even just an ‘ok,’ but instead the shorter male simply stared at the board, eyes darkening a bit- Leorio felt his heart sink. Had he… actually said something wrong? He knew he could be maybe a bit harsh by the average person’s standards when joking with Kurapika, but he knew the boy wasn’t exactly soft or sensitive. Maybe something he said struck a nerve or a weak spot… His mind reeled as he tried to think back. Was it calling him a moron? Or maybe calling him a bastard? He looked away, rubbing his chin gently as he cleared his throat. Maybe Leorio was just being overdramatic and reading too much into things. “You getting anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika nodded. “Yeah.” It almost felt like Kurapika had deflated. Damn it… What had he done wrong? He was still trying to think back to his words and what he knew about Kurapika as they received their drinks, Kurapika beginning to quietly and slowly sip on his glass. What had he said... What had he done? Kurapika had looked amused at first, had he been reminded of something a bit after he spoke? He sighed, running a hand through his hair and grabbing his drink in his hand with the other, taking a swig. “You look stressed out.” Kurapika observed. His tone was more flat now- He wasn’t imagining that, surely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm…” Leorio paused. “No, I’m not.” He placed his glass down on the table, Kurapika’s attention flicking down to the cup before closing his eyes, leaning back again and taking another sip. Did Kurapika usually drink? It wasn’t like he was chugging down his glass, but it was still more than he would regularly drink. Leorio found that the rest of the night went by silently. The bar had more people flocking to it as it got later, and soon even Leorio found it to be a bit loud. Kurapika seemed to share the same sentiment as he spoke up.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
  <span>“It’s loud here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio glanced back to Kurapika and then to a group of people entering the bar, looking to be already a little tipsy- Maybe from drinks at a restaurant or the likes. The bar didn’t seem like it’s business was slowing down. He felt bad for the bartenders. “Yeah, it’s way too loud,” Leorio agreed, standing up and dusting his pants off. “Let’s head to my place?” Innuendo wasn’t on his mind at the moment, but he knew what the implications of that might be. Truthfully, Leorio just wanted to kick back and relax somewhere quieter, but he wasn’t quite ready to say goodnight to Kurapika just yet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
  <span>The blonde looked up, pausing for a second. Leorio watched him as he seemed to be thinking, completely expecting a polite refusal, but instead the shorter male nodded, taking one last sip of his drink before setting it down in front of him. “Yeah.” They had only been there for no more than ten minutes, but they already found themselves heading out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio fumbled a bit with his keys as he opened the door. “Damn it… It’s cold,” He mumbled. The hallways of the apartment complex were always so cold, especially as winter approached. He opened the door and headed in, glancing back at Kurapika. This would be the blonde’s first time inside his apartment, even if he had seen the complex's lobby a few weeks ago when he hauled Leorio’s drunk ass to his complex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika followed in a way that almost seemed hesitant, pausing for the slightest moment in the doorway before following after Leorio, who immediately plopped down onto his armchair, groaning in relief. “I don’t mind things being a bit loud, but it’s nice to have some quiet again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika nodded as his eyes swept over the apartment. It was nice, with a well-sized living room that looked very warm and cozy. A dark brown leather armchair that seemed to have a bit of wear in it (of which Leorio was now sitting in) and a red sofa were positioned around a tan carpet, the floors themselves dark brown wood. A flat screen TV was set on the wall in front of the couch, and there was a small wood coffee table between the couch and TV. The house smelled faintly of cinnamon and firewood, an earthy but pleasant scent. There were two doors to the back of the apartment- A bedroom and a bathroom- and a kitchen was off to the side. Leorio surely used some of the funds on his Hunter license to rent it out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio watched as the blonde took a seat on the couch, his gaze lingering before he leaned forward and grabbed a remote from off the coffee table, turning on the TV and aimlessly flipping through channels, snippets of sound from each station playing before he flicked off of the channel, from music to voices to explosions. Kurapika sat there silently, watching the screen change.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio stopped, landing on some generic news station and pausing there. “Damn. Can’t find anything good,” he mumbled, Kurapika looking up to him without saying anything. Leorio glanced over to him and then back to the television. It felt… uncomfortable in the room. Not awkward, per say, but definitely uncomfortable, as if they had some unspoken agreement to not acknowledge one another for both of their own goods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Finally, Leorio broke the silence, looking back to Kurapika and staring for a few seconds before turning the TV with the click of the remote. He sighed, running his hands through his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Kurapika, did I say something that… y’know, made you angry? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Leorio apologized, and the blonde seemed a bit surprised as his gaze flicked back over to Leorio.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He shifted on the couch, scooting a bit further from Leorio despite the fact that they were sitting in entirely different chairs. “...No, it’s… Nothing you said. It’s nothing- I’m okay. Really.”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio closed his eyes and shook his head, Kurapika flinching. Leorio could tell that the shorter male knew that his claim sounded unconvincing. “Kurapika…” He turned his head the other way and pinned his gaze to the floor as he said his name, but Leorio stared at him nonetheless, eyes soft. “I’m… not gonna ask yet, but we’re friends, alright? We can talk. I don’t and I won’t think any less of you.” There was no response. Leorio felt like he was grasping desperately to grab something that wasn’t there- Though Kurapika’s presence still held so much weight as he stared at him, he simultaneously felt as though the blonde was only there in person, seeming so distant and secluded- Like he had retreated into some small crevice of his mind where nothing could reach him. His eyes seemed empty, and he was unmoving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio felt his heart sink at the thought that maybe… There really wouldn't be a way to reach Kurapika. This was the most vulnerability he had ever expressed to Leorio in a manner other than anger in what had to be years, but if Kurapika really did have such strong walls built around him this might be the farthest he'd ever get. All Leorio wanted to do was pull the blonde into a hug. They were so close, and yet he felt like Kurapika was miles away.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This one took me a bit longer to pump out! I wanted to write a whole episode with Leorio's POV, since all he's had so far (until now) is a half an episode. Next chapter will return to Kurapika's POV + some nice angst!</p><p>This chapter was already longer than most my other ones, so I cut it short when I truthfully could've just added a few extra pages to finish the scene. Hopefully the ending wasn't too sudden!</p><p>I really appreciate any bookmarks, kudos, or comments and I hope you'll stick around for the next chapter too!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Working X and X Realizations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kurapika’s gaze was pinned on the ground, and yet he was oh-so aware of how Leorio’s eyes were focused on him, almost able to feel his gaze against his face. There was a heavy weight in his chest, one that stilled his movements and his thoughts, his mind empty. Painfully empty, and Kurapika found himself grasping and reaching and searching for any thoughts. Anything- Anything other than the expansive abyss that he felt as if he was flailing inside of, a sense of near panic building up in some distant part of himself despite his stone-cold posturing. Why? What… What was he scared of?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurapika…” He stayed still as Leorio spoke up, unsure if he was even breathing. Right now, the only things he was sure of was Leorio’s voice and the ground that he stared at. I’m… not gonna ask yet, but we’re friends, alright? We can talk. I don’t and I won’t think any less of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Friends?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He… he knew they were friends. He knew that Leorio cared for him- Leorio cared too easily. He felt the panic- no, the dread in the back of his mind as if it were running its heavy fingers down his neck, reminding him that it was there. He could see Leorio in his peripheral vision, a blurry blob of warm colors. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t look at him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Leorio wouldn’t ask? He processed his words a few seconds late, and time felt like it had slowed, mind sluggish to try to catch up to what has happening around him. Part of him felt relieved- More than a part, really. Almost his whole being felt a strong sense of relief. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even understand this... The way Leorio would make him feel so light and giddy and like he was floating and- And how that would all disappear the next second, to be replaced by dread and discomfort, as if the abyss had reached forward and plucked Kurapika away from the warmth Leorio provided for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other part of him, just a small flicker deep in his thoughts, wanted Leorio to ask what was wrong, even if he wouldn’t answer, and ask again and again and again until he was forced to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurapika,” Leorio muttered. The way his name rolled from Leorio’s lips so gently and so </span>
  <em>
    <span>tenderly</span>
  </em>
  <span> had his jaw clenching ever so slightly, feeling his gaze shift further away from Leorio. It had his heart beating faster against his chest, and not in the warm, fluttery way it would normally. He could imagine Leorio’s warm eyes. He knew the taller man was staring at him. He could imagine the man’s warm eyes, and his olive skin, and the way his short dark hair was spiked up, and the way he’d look at Kurapika so gently. He wanted to lift his gaze from the floor to meet his and let himself melt in those warm eyes. So why did he feel dread and fear at the thought?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw Leorio shift in his armchair at the edge of his vision. “Kurapika…” He muttered again, saying the name like it was something precious and valuable. Why? Why did he say his name like that? “Just…” He trailed off. “You don’t have to be afraid to say anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Afraid… Was he afraid? He definitely wasn’t inclined to speak, for reasons he could not name. Kurapika felt his gaze drop lower. He… was an adult. He had no reason to be staring at the floor silent, like a school child who had been disciplined or something along the lines and wanted to avoid the consequences. He looked up to Leorio, who had furrowed eyebrows and a slight frown on his face. He didn’t look disappointed, or angry, or annoyed. He looked concerned, at worst confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A moment of silence fell upon them, heavy and thick with some type of tension, though not the type that would come before a battle or clash. It didn’t feel aggressive, but it felt like a heavy coat of silence draped over the two, neither moving nor opening their mouths to talk until what felt like minutes passed and Kurapika glanced away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, seriously. I just zoned out for a second.” The words fell from Kurapika in a flat tone, and he found himself almost surprised. When had he thought to himself to say that? It was as if he was watching someone else talk through him. He wanted to lean forward. He wanted to lean forward and tell Leorio that he didn’t understand why he felt like this, that something wasn’t normal, that something was wrong and stopping him from being </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Why did he shut down like this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika pulled himself out of this state of mind, out of this dark abyss with thoughts swirling in the distance, so far away yet so loud. The warmth on his skin almost surprised him, as did the way the sofa felt against his back as he leaned further into the cushion. A small sigh slipped from his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was wrong with him? He felt himself returning to normal now. That’s right- He couldn’t let something so stupid phase him. Why had he even reacted like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Still, he couldn’t deny the ever-present feeling that loomed behind his back, too faint to pin down but enough to make him uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio stared at him for a moment, eyebrows furrowed slightly in concern. He looked away from Kurapika and to the TV, speaking up after clearing his throat. “We up to watch some TV, then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika tore his gaze from Leorio and glanced towards the door. “...Sorry, but I have to head out.” He didn’t have to leave; he had nothing at all to do, and he knew that full well as he stood, sliding his hands into his pockets and rolling his shoulders. Leorio didn’t respond, his gaze shifting over to Kurapika wordlessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde’s gaze flicked over to Leorio for no more than a second. “...Thank you for letting me come over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s no problem.” Leorio finally spoke up, looking up and giving him a small smile that made something inside Kurapika stir.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cya.” He turned around, giving Leorio a small wave as he walked out the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Closing the door behind him caused a small wave of emotion to wash over him; relief, disappointment, and a tinge of frustration. He paused before he could take another step away. He could turn around- He could say he changed his mind, he could take a seat on Leorio’s couch and enjoy the rest of his night there. He knew Leorio wouldn’t mind. The idea was tempting- too tempting. Kurapika forced his foot forward, rubbing his forehead with a sigh as if to clear those thoughts from his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tugged down the sleeve of his suit as he walked out of the building, the cold wind blowing his hair back slightly, a few loose strands swaying over his eyes. He brushed them away gently. It was almost winter- Kurapika couldn’t help but like winter, yet he hated how the cold made his skin feel numb; He hated how the snow would get in the way of walking and driving; He hated how he’d need so many layers of clothing. Still, summer reminded him of Lukso too much for his liking. It reminded him of forests filled with greens and yellows and life and warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It also reminded him of coming home to those forests empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika stood with straight posture as he watched Neon fawn over the clothing displays in the clothing store, snatching up pieces of clothing as she skipped through aisles. She was raving on and on about brands and companies to Basho, who followed her with the expression of a defeated man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika kept a close eye on them, but he was focused on them through vision only. His mind was entirely elsewhere. He couldn’t help but recall his time with Leorio last week, and it had been in his thoughts far more than he thought reasonable. Why had he acted in such a way? He felt the steady throb of frustration in the back of his mind, writhing and curling in his conscience. At first he had only been confused and maybe slightly downtrodden about it, but the longer he thought about it the more he found himself annoyed by his actions. Why was he feeling this way?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurapika?” A light, quiet voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he glanced over to see Melody standing beside him, head tilted to the side slightly and a frown on her face. “You sound distressed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika shrugged, closing his eyes. “I’m fine.” The words slipped from his lips nonchalantly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you?" Melody shook her head. “Your heartbeat sounds of confusion, sadness, and frustration. Especially frustration.” It always bothered him how easily Melody could read someone's emotions, as if they were laid out in the open for her to examine. He knew she had good intentions but it still made him uncomfortable, even if only a bit. He didn't like people being able to read him so easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes again, gaze shifting downwards as his eyes darkened. “Melody, shouldn’t we be working?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re just watching over Neon. There isn’t a need for any strenuous amounts of attention,” she hummed, closing her eyes, “So it’s fine for us to talk. We aren’t neglecting our duties.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika allowed himself to fall silent as she continued on. “I’m sorry if it’s intrusive,” she said, lowering her voice slightly as to not be too loud, “but what is it that bothers you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chose his words tactfully as he spoke. “I appreciate the concern, Melody, but I’m alright.” He looked up. “I’m just busy with work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Melody gave him a small and sympathetic smile and looked away, focusing her attention back to Neon, Basho dragging himself after her almost comically. Neon was an eccentric personality with an unforgivable hobby. Sometimes he felt the slightest sparks of platonic endearment towards her, and others, especially when she'd go on about her </span>
  <em>
    <span>collections</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he felt such a strong anger bubbling beneath his calm demeanor that it was hard to keep his mouth shut. He always knew Melody was aware of this anger whenever it occured based off the furrowing of her eyebrows and how she'd seem worried.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed. Thinking about Neon's collections would just make him angered. He needed to think of something pleasant… something nice… his mind slipped to Leorio, as if thoughts if him were some warm, safe crevice that he would engulf himself in out of pure habit and instinct. And he couldn't lie when he said the thought of Leorio was… refreshing. When had he started thinking of Leorio like this? Only recently, surely. He had always felt a strong connection with the man as friends, but this felt different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damn it. He was reminded of the events of last week, when he had hung out with Leorio briefly. Too briefly, in an entirely awkward, clunky interaction that was so much different than their usual conversations, that would flow smoothly, filled with jokes and teasing and sly remarks that would make one of them scoff in fake annoyance while barely able to repress a smile. He knew Leorio would still treat him like normal. Right? He had to. He was Leorio, the warmest, kindest person he’d ever met, rivaled only by the likes of Pairo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Pairo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pairo.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He felt his heart twist in his chest, his thoughts freezing. Pairo. His clan. The scarlet eyes. The Phantom Troupe. The words flashed through his mind with almost dizzying strength. He… Was distracted. He was distracted, wasn’t he? So occupied with small, trivial things like Leorio and how he </span>
  <em>
    <span>felt</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he forgot what he lived for. He didn’t live for Leorio, nor himself, not anybody else. He lived to avenge his clan. How had he let it slip his mind? How had he allowed himself to waste so much time on things that would make no difference in the end? He closed his eyes, a small puff of breath departing from his lips as he felt his thoughts ramp up with more intensity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His clustered, whirring thoughts soon turned nearly chaotic, his ambition and his drive flashing through his heads in dozens of images of his home, of Pairo, of his parents, of his clan, of the scarlet eyes floating inside jars to be sold like little</span>
  <em>
    <span> fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>toys, the scarlet fucking eyes ripped from his people one at a time-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt himself breathing slightly heavier than usual. He had let his goals out of his head for days. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Days</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His ambition couldn’t fade. No man could change that. Leorio couldn’t change that. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t, because Kurapika knew what he needed to-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Kurapika?” A small voice slammed into his thoughts with the weight of a thousand tons, leaving them as shards resting on the floor of his mind. He opened his eyes to see Melody, who had wide eyes and hands that were clasped together in front of her stomach, as if to stop them from shaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked down to her, expression nonchalant. He was a vessel for the Kurta clan. His feelings wouldn’t matter until every last one of his brethren had been avenged. Until every last spider’s body was slumped at his feet and until every last eye had been collected. “Hm?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Melody’s eyebrows furrowed, and she turned away. “Our shifts are ending soon,” she said quietly as her gaze flickered to Neon, who had begun skipping towards them with Basho trailing behind her, holding dozens of shirts and dresses in his arms. He might have chuckled at the sight a few days ago, but right now, all he could focus on were the whispers that would flare up in his mind at every movement he’d make, only to fade and leave an echo of their words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t be distracted. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The Kurta.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The Phantom Troupe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They killed every last one</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>don’t be distracted</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>avenge them</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The scarlet eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the troupe </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>dont</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>be distracted.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wouldn’t. Kurapika… wouldn’t be distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys! Sorry that this took a bit longer than usual to update. I'm constantly stuck between wanting to have longer chapters and wanting to have frequent updates, and I chose the latter for this chapter. Sorry if it's a bit too short! I'll make up for next update. On another note, the pages are so wide on a03 (computer version at least) that it always looks like I wrote so little :( </p><p>On another note, thank you so much for 700 hits, all the kudos, and every single comment! All the support has been great and I appreciate anyone who takes their time to read through this!! I plan on it lasting for maybe around ten chapters, and hopefully it will be finished somewhere in the first few months 2021. After that, I have a few more ideas related to Hunter x Hunter I'd love to write (mainly AU's!)</p><p>I won't lie, I might've cringed internally a bit writing the angst here. It's really... well, it's about what you'd expect for angst from an amateur fanfiction. I'm learning haha, bare with me!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Arguments X and X Angst</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“You’re distracting me. You’re fucking distracting me from what matters. I don’t know why I give you the time of day when the eyes are still out there and the Troupe is still well and alive, you… you fucking…”</p><p> </p><p>Kurapika took a shaky breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you always come back? Why do you never just give the fuck up and- And- Why the hell are you always… Why do you always want me to be near you?”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>Leorio stared up at his ceiling, one hand rested behind his head and the other sprawled to the side, loosely holding his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He fucked up somehow, didn’t he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>With a frustrated groan, Leorio sat up, gaze shifting to his phone. It had been three (nearing four) weeks since he and Kurapika had spoken. He didn’t know what he had done, but he cursed himself internally for it. Whatever it was that he did had Kurapika avoiding him as if he was the bubonic plague- He knew Kurapika had a tendency to ignore texts and give cold shoulders (whether accidently or not) but as of recent he had been responding more and more. Well, ‘until recent’ as in nearly a month ago. At this point reaching the blonde seemed impossible. At first, his texts were just left on read, but after a while Kurapika stopped reading them entirely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>It sucked more than Leorio would care to admit. His time with Kurapika had been the highlight of his weeks, breaking the boring monotony of his daily life. Eating, pissing, and studying felt like the only things he had been doing for the last few weeks. Oh, and bro nights with Zepile. As it turns out, the bushy eyebrowed dickhead found his predicament absolutely hilarious. Hilarious enough to laugh himself to near tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He had even decided to visit Kurapika’s apartment one day last week. He had freshened and then hyped himself up, ready to apologize for whatever it was that he did. Of course, it slipped his mind that Leorio didn’t have Kurapika’s address and didn’t occur to him until he was stepping out the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio turned onto his side, staring out his window. It was nice and warm bundled in his thick blankets, but he knew it’d be cold as Santa’s asscheeks once he dragged himself out of his bed, especially since he was only wearing boxers. It’d only get colder from here, and it was only a matter of time until snow would begin falling from the sky. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe he and Kurapika could go sledding or have a snowball fight, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought to himself, the idea slipping into his mind too quickly to remember the reason he was so downtrodden in the first place. God. Damn. It.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>His resolve wasn’t so easily broken (or at least he liked to think so.) He’d find a way to talk to Kurapika and see what the hell was going on, even if Leorio couldn’t get any responses from him over text. Even if he didn’t know where he lived. Or what he had been up to these past weeks. Or what spots he frequented. Or where his work was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>….Maybe it really was helpless. Of course he’d catch feelings for someone like Kurapika. Someone as distant as Kurapika. The boy was likeable, but how had he ever gotten to the point where he saw Kurapika as more than a friend?! Sure, he was pretty. Very pretty. Prettier than any girl he had ever met, in fact. His skin was smooth as porcelain, that gentle face framed by that vibrant golden hair that Leorio would </span>
  <em>
    <span>pay </span>
  </em>
  <span>to run his hands through. He was sure his lips were soft, too. When those lips would tug up slightly into that half-smile of his and he’d look up at Leorio with a soft chuckle… It’d be an absolute lie to say that he didn’t want to hug Kurapika close to him in those moments. Kiss him, even. At least that’s what his heart wanted. His dick’s idea of what he wanted to do in those moments were very different. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Okay, maybe he could understand why he liked Kurapika. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>“I sound like such a scumbag,” Leorio muttered to himself. The blonde entranced him for more reasons than just his looks, of course. He had a beyond cute personality and he knew nobody who rivaled it or even came close, and how he would get all flustered at the smallest teasing warmed Leorio’s heart. Being near Kurapika was truly enough to make his day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Another groan peeled from Leorio’s mouth. Why was it now, when he had no way to talk to or see Kurapika, that he wanted to reflect on everything he loved about the boy? He was missing him way more than he probably should. He did have a tendency for drama, as much as he wouldn’t admit it- Maybe Kurapika really just was busy. Shit, should he be worried? Kurapika was in a dangerous field of work, wasn’t he? If he had been moping and complaining about Kurapika not responding to his texts while Kurapika was bedridden from injuries he’d never forgive himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Of course, it would make sense for Kurapika to avoid him after the last interaction they had. It had been awkward and painful. Leorio’s heart sank as he remembered how sad Kurapika had seemed, if only briefly. That blonde was always putting something else ahead of himself, especially when it came to his particular ambitions. It wouldn’t surprise him to learn he had been neglecting himself for the sake of his work. In fact, it would surprise him if he hadn’t been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>His thoughts became more and more full of worries and concerns and questions until it was too loud inside his own head, causing Leorio to sit up abruptly and run a rough hand through his hair. “Ugh. God fucking damn it,” he mummured, sliding his hand over his face and pinching the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh. He seriously needed to find a way to talk with Kurapika, not only for the boy but Leorio himself. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take, not with his mind filled with thoughts of Kurapika and what he might be going through. He had no idea where to start on his expedition to find Kurapika, unfortunately. He settled on dragging himself out of bed first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio tossed his covers to the side and immediately regretted it, goosebumps crawling up his arms from the cold. He hugged his arms around his body with a shiver as he glanced around for something to cover himself with, settling on a bathrobe that had been tossed onto his dresser. He took his phone along with him as he walked out into the living room, a yawn pulling from his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He grabbed himself a cup of coffee as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, taking a seat in his living room and flicking on the television. He glanced down to his phone- It was 8 AM. Earlier than he usually got up, he noted with some annoyance. He could still be in bed by now, but there was no point now that he was already up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Thank god for coffee. He took a sip from his mug before setting it aside, eyeing his phone. He shouldn’t, but… But why not? He grabbed his phone from off his lap, clearing his throat as he clicked into Kurapika’s contact. He knew the boy wouldn’t respond to a call, so he settled for a voicemail, waiting for the small ‘beep’ to indicate he could begin talking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Hey, Kurapika. I, uh, y’know. You haven’t responded to any of my texts. Or calls, or, uh, anything, really. So… Maybe respond,” he murmured groggily. That shitshow of a message seemed to be enough to wake him up if only a bit, Leorio sitting up and wincing. “Shit. That was bad,” he grumbled to himself as he erased the voicemail. That was awkward as hell. He’d go for something more smooth and casual. He sounded too dry there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Yo, Kurapika! I don’t know if you’re busy or something, but let’s hang out soon, okay? I missed you- Shit,” Leorio groaned, erasing the voicemail before he even finished it. “‘I missed you?’ I sound like such a little bitch. Jeez.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio glared at his phone as if it was behind all his failed attempts, frustration flaring up. He pressed his thumb into the record button once again. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but y’know, you need to stop avoiding me. It’s annoying as hell.” He paused. “I haven’t been going anywhere, so if you want to stop by, feel free. I can make you coffee or something… Not that you’ll even listen to this. Asshat. Pick up my calls, at least. Jeez.” Leorio mumbled the last few sentences, stopping the voicemail and sending it before he could regret it. Which he did, a few seconds later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He stared at his phone for a bit, hoping foolishly to get some sort of response. None came, not to Leorio’s surprise at all. He leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes with a huff. Part of him was concerned and part of him was frustrated (and nearly pissed, really.) He hoped Kurapika was okay, but if he was then Leorio would be giving him a piece of his mind without a doubt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>What had triggered Kurapika’s sudden silence, anyways? He remembered calling Kurapika cute on accident. That could be it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You look so sweet and innocent, y’know, and then act all stoic. It’s cute.” Leorio felt himself freeze right after he felt the last word leaving his mouth. Kurapika stared forwards at him like he didn’t hear what he said, blinking once, and then twice, and then tilting his head to the side a bit once again. Cute? He hadn’t meant to say cute. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He covered his face with his hands, closing his eyes. Maybe he had made Kurapika uncomfortable. Or maybe Kurapika had noticed his feelings and didn’t reciprocate them and thought he was weird now. Oh shit- What if Kurapika was even disgusted about it? Shit. He had no idea what Kurapika’s preferences were. Maybe it grossed him out or made him uncomfortable. No, Kurapika didn’t seem like the type of person who would care. Hopefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio shifted on the couch, biting his lip as he racked his mind for ways to get in touch with Kurapika. As expected, he kept drawing blanks. Damn it. He could probably come up with a plan if he had the blonde’s annoyingly smart brain. He could memorize the contents of his medical textbooks just fine, but when it came to any form of planning he found his mind devoid of any meaningful thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He glanced over to the TV, brow furrowing. He’d watched this movie… what, five times now? No way was he watching it again, but he needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>some</span>
  </em>
  <span> form of distraction other than thinking about Kurapika, moping, or jacking off. Two of those tended to blend together a bit too much for his liking, and neither of them were moping. He switched through channels until landing on a rom-com. Maybe this would give him some ideas of how to get Kurapika to talk to him again. Or something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He glared at the television as he shifted on the couch, laying across it on his side. Of course it wouldn’t. They weren’t lovers. Not even close. They probably never would be. Jeez, how could he think of being lovers with Kurapika when he couldn’t even get him to message him back? More importantly, why was he sitting here feeling bad for himself when Kurapika was probably stressing himself out over his work and feeling depressed as shit? He grimaced. He needed to find a way to contact Kurapika as soon as possible. It’s not like Kurapika would walk through his door on his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio looked up as the doorbell rang, and his eyes widened. Who the hell was coming to his house at this time? Could it… could it be that Kurapika saw his voicemail and took him up on his offer?! Leorio’s heart began beating faster in his chest, stumbling off the couch and springing forward towards the door. “Kurapika, you-..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile stood in front of the door with a six pack of beer in hand, eyebrows raised as Leorio flung the door open. “Uh.. Kurapika?” Zepile questioned, a knowing smirk appearing on his face. “Did you have plans with your boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio didn’t have the energy to be angry at Zepile, disappointment curling in his stomach. “God damn… I really thought Kurapika was coming,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “Why are you here so early, Eyebrows?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“It’s Sunday. Bro Sunday. Bro Night. Except I’m busy tonight, so it’s Bro Morning!” Zepile declared this with a grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“How about a warning next time, Zepile?” Leorio let out a frustrated breath of air. “I really fucking thought it was Kurapika, you know,” he repeated. “Do you understand the disappointment of getting your bushy eyebrowed fat fucking ass instead of Kurapika?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zepile pretended to sniffle, rubbing his eyes. “That’s harsh, man. But I’m here with beers, and I’ll help console you over your little angel Kurapika’s absence.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Jeez, fuck off,” Leorio grumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“He seriously still hasn’t texted you, though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The taller man’s silent glare gave Zepile the answer he needed. “That’s real rough,” he remarked with a small nod, beginning to stroll forward into the apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Hey, did I say you could enter?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I brought beers. That’s basically like a ticket of admission. You can get drunk and forget about-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Leorio?” A familiar voice rang out, and Leorio froze, Zepile immediately ceasing his sentence with wide eyes. The bushy eyebrowed man took a step back, and Kurapika glanced between Leorio and Zepile with slightly raised eyebrows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy. Fucking. Shit. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kurapika actually came.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>Leorio blinked slowly, hand drifting to rest on the back of his neck without saying anything, brain still trying to figure out if the blonde had really shown up at his apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Holy shit, is that actually your-” Zepile began to ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span> His brain had caught up finally and realized that Kurapika was indeed standing in front of his house. “Out of the way, shithead!” He barked at his bushy eyebrowed friend, Kurapika barely having processed what was going on until Leorio grabbed him and dragged him into his apartment, slamming the door behind them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Sorry. That’s my dickhead friend Zepile,” Leorio muttered an apology, Kurapika’s hands lacing together in front of him, gaze fixed on the floor. “It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio stared down at the blonde with a gentle gaze. He was a bit paler than usual, Leorio noticed. The boy’s expression was blank, if anything unsure. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Unsure? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Leorio would’ve stared longer, but Kurapika’s gaze shifted upwards towards him and his heart began pounding. “I’ll get you some coffee,” Leorio stuttered as he turned, glancing back at Kurapika before hurrying over to his kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He watched the blonde take a seat on the armchair from the corner of his eye as he poured some coffee into an empty mug. Holy shit. Kurapika had actually, really came to his house. After nearly a month of not responding to </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>he sent him. Leorio could’ve sent him a fucking dick pic and he was certain the blonde wouldn’t even care, and yet here he was, sitting inside his living room because of a half-assed voicemail that lasted a few seconds?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He put the coffee carafe back on the counter, carefully holding the mug of coffee. Leorio set it on the coffee table in front of Kurapika as he walked by the boy and sat down onto the couch, closing his eyes with a sigh. He heard Kurapika take a small sip of his coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s work been?” Leorio leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes as he took a nice, long drink of his coffee. It was painfully obvious that he was trying to create small talk. He had been convinced he’d wring Kurapika’s neck at first sight, but he found his confidence lost now that he was truly face to face with the blonde.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Busy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you do in your job, anyways? Just guard stuff? Or something?” Leorio tried leading the conversation in a bit more of a casual tone, but Kurapika didn’t seem to want to help out with that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bodyguard work,” he answered. His responses felt tense despite his casual tone, as if he knew the matter that would come up sooner or later in this conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What have you been doing, anyways? Surely you aren’t working 24 hours a day, are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Work. And no.” Leorio blinked at the blonde’s response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...It was really hard to make small talk when Kurapika was in this mood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio stopped trying to create a friendlier atmosphere, sighing into his mug. The quiet that fell over them both was awkward, and both boys were aware of the topic that would have to be talked about sooner of later. It was merely a matter of who would bring it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio was the first to give in, opening his eyes to see Kurapika taking another sip of his coffee, his pale hands wrapped around the mug. He was sure it was painfully hot. “Kurapika, why were you avoiding me?” He didn’t beat around the bush, his dark eyes trained on the blonde with a certain form of… concern. He had been pissed about it earlier, but couldn’t bring himself to feel anger when the boy sitting in front of him looked so vulnerable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no response at first, and Kurapika stared down at his coffee as if it would give him something to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked… sad. Strands of blonde hair fell in front of his eyes as he shifted a bit on the couch, pushing himself further back into the cushion ever so slightly. He took another sip of his coffee then looked up to the other male, lips half pursed. “Leorio…” He murmured, and he felt his heart wrench at the soft but strained nature of Kurapika’s voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Truthfully..” Kurapika continued on. “I don’t know why I’m here.” He spoke matter-of-factly, and the blunt nature of the words jabbed at Leorio’s heart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What does he mean? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I shouldn’t be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio expected Kurapika to explain further, but it seemed like he was getting no such response, the blonde’s gaze still on him. It seemed clouded. Kurapika wasn’t being heartfelt and honest with him right now. There was so much more that he needed to say. So why was he holding back?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… Do you mean?” Leorio asked, eyebrows furrowing slightly. The room was silent for a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really… I shouldn’t be here, Leorio,” Kurapika repeated. His voice grew more strained, and Leorio expected him to fall silent. He was wrong. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I chose to come here when I- When I promised myself-” Kurapka’s voice strained more, and he closed his eyes, this time not to think but to try and calm himself, Leorio noticed. When Kurapika opened his eyes again, his voice was more stable. “...Sorry. I’m being foolish,” he murmured.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio’s gaze shifted to the ground, the taller male remaining silent. To see Kurapika so emotional, so raw and </span>
  <em>
    <span>unstable… </span>
  </em>
  <span>It scared Leorio. What was going on in his head? What type of flurry of emotion had he been feeling to let his voice waver, to let his thoughts slip from his mouth? His true thoughts? He knew Kurapika. He knew of the stone wall Kurapika had around himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio finally found his words as he looked back to Kurapika. “It’s not foolish. Just… Tell me why you came. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika paused, as if considering his offer. His lips parted ever so slightly, and he took in a small breath. Leorio expected an answer, a reassurance, a denial that he was feeling anything at all, but instead Kurapika stood. “I have to go. I just wanted to stop by.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s only been a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I can’t stay. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kurapika.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Leorio spoke up. “You can’t leave right now. Sit back down.” He felt frustration spark inside of him despite his thoughts of being unable to get angry at Kurapika that he had just a few moments earlier. Why was it that every time Kurapika had come to his house he had left minutes later? Why was it that every time Kurapika came close to saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>about how he felt he found an excuse to leave?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika turned around, eyebrows furrowing. “You can’t stop me, Leorio,” he said with a bitter edge to his voice, and this caused Leorio to stand from the couch, passion that was a mixture between some form of love and anger driving him to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” His voice had a certain venom to it, as if challenging Leorio.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I won’t let you leave,” he repeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde’s eyes widened at this before his gaze twisted into a glare, turning around and stalking forward to Leorio. The taller man stared down at him defiantly, heart beating in his chest with adrenaline. An angry Kurapika was a scary sight- Especially since he knew what he was capable of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, exactly, would you do to stop me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio avoided that question. He knew he couldn’t “You can’t just fucking leave every single time you fucking-” Leorio took a deep, breath shaky. “You can’t leave every time you come close to expressing emotion, Kurapika.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about that,” Kurapika hissed, and Leorio could feel the fiery anger writhing inside of the blonde.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s it about, then?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “You just don’t understand </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay? And you don’t have to. Just... leave me the alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“</span><em><span>Leave you the fuck alone?”</span></em><span> Leorio’s voice raised.</span> <span>“Leave you the fuck alone so you can close yourself off from fucking everybody and destroy yourself trying to get all those stupid fucking eyes?!” He knew he was going too far, but the words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them, and Kurapika’s gaze lit up with a terrifying intensity. He knew his eyes were burning red behind the contacts he wore.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Destroy myself?” He questioned, his tone growing harsher.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you see what it’s doing to you? Don’t you see all these goddamn walls you have to put up just so nobody sees how it's affecting you? You need to fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck do you mean, Leorio?” His voice hushed to a dangerous whisper, eyes wide and hands shaking as they balled by his side. His voice was strained, the blonde trying his best not to escalate his voice into screams. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not stupid. You fucking see it too, and you just ignore it, don’t you? You think that if you put you and your health below those fucking eyes it’ll make you feel better!?”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Leorio. “What the hell are you going to do when it’s all over? If you don’t fucking die trying, what will you do after you signed your fucking life away to the Phantom Troupe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care what happens </span>
  <em>
    <span>after,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Leorio.” The way he spat out his name made the taller male’s eyebrows furrow further, the edges of his vision blurring through his anger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care what happens to me, or you, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking anyone,</span>
  </em>
  <span> as long as it gets done. As long it gets fucking done, Leorio.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“You mean</span><em><span> nothing</span></em><span> to me compared to them</span><em><span>.</span></em><span>” The words sent a harsh jolt through Leorio’s body, and he froze.</span> <span>“Don’t- Don’t fucking think… Don’t think I wouldn’t choose them over you, Leorio, and don’t fucking think I wouldn’t choose them over myself either.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio stepped back, able to hear his own pulse in his ears as Kurapika glared up at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kurapika spoke over him, voice shaky and unsure despite his strong words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just- You just don’t fucking give up, do you? I don’t want to be near you, and you just…” Kurapika’s voice broke. “You just keep </span>
  <em>
    <span>making me fucking talk to you </span>
  </em>
  <span>and you won’t stop no matter what- You’re- You’re just a fucking distraction. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t give a shit above you!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>His voice rose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re… You….” Leorio whispered, but his sentence broke amidst his racing thoughts. Was that… true?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re distracting me. You’re fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>distracting </span>
  </em>
  <span>me from what matters. I don’t know why I give you the time of day when the eyes are still out there and the Troupe is still well and alive, you… you fucking…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika took a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you always come back? Why do you never just give the fuck up and- And- Why the hell are you always… Why do you always want me to be near you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kurapika broke off, a heavy silence fell over them both, neither male moving as they stared at one another. Both breathed heavily after all their shouting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A minute passed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika turned around and left, the door shutting behind him with a slam.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>4k words on this chapter!!! Also, tysm for almost 1k hits! That's so insane and I never expected to even get past 100!!</p><p>I really appreciate any kudos, comments, or bookmarks! Any and all support means so much to me (even if it just includes reading this chapter!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Making Up X and X Making Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>    “Oh.” The blonde bit his lip, feeling his face heat up. “I don’t know if you… Return those… sentiments. About me.”</p><p> </p><p>    There was no pause this time.</p><p> </p><p>    A soft laugh rolled from Leorio’s lips and Kurapika froze. </p><p> </p><p>    “I do, Kurapika.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Leorio stared up at the ceiling of his apartment, a can of beer in his hand that he absently sipped on. He had </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>made some big ass mistakes now. He wasn’t surprised at the lack of contact from Kurapika these past two days. Not after the explosive argument they had three days ago. He hadn’t felt like such shit in </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>- Right now, all he wanted to do was cease existing or forget Kurapika ever existed, because </span>
  <em>
    <span>god damn it </span>
  </em>
  <span>did any thought of the short blonde boy make his mood spiral. He couldn’t believe the shit that had come out of the boy’s lips. And he desperately hoped all of it was a heat of the moment word throw-up with no truth to his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You just- You just don’t fucking give up, do you? I don’t want to be near you, and you just… You just keep making me fucking talk to you and you won’t stop no matter what- You’re- You’re just a fucking distraction. I don’t give a shit above you!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio knew he himself could say things he didn’t mean during arguments and get too heated, but… Jesus. Jesus Christ. That shit kinda hurt, and it had been replaying in his mind for every minute of the last two days. He needed to get out of this house and go do something. Preferably, that something would entail getting blackout drunk and forgetting about the shitstorm that was his relationship with Kurapika. Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He set the beer can aside as he stood, grabbing a thick jacket to pull over his suit. It was offically as cold as Santa’s asschecks, he decided as he stepped out of his apartment door and began heading down the stairs with no destination in mind. Maybe he’d just walk around a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio winced at the cold when he exited the apartment lobby, a numbing breeze blowing into his face and ruffling his hair like a nice ‘fuck you.’ Or maybe the events of three days ago just made him overly pessimistic. Yeah, it was probably the latter. He had always been the sulking type, as annoying as it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A heavy sigh pushed itself from Leorio’s lips, the tall man shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He needed to move on and re-address this situation later on, when it didn’t make him want to curl up into a sad little ball every time he was reminded of it. He wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings as he walked down the streets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> It would definitely start snowing any day now, wouldn’t it? It was probably only a few degrees hotter than required for snow to start falling from the sky. His gaze shifted up to the clouds as if waiting for snow to begin falling, but when none came his attention flicked back to the sidewalk he walked on, inspecting every little crack as he walked past as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. He should be doing something productive, but he couldn’t bring himself to study right now. He should be fine as long as he wasn’t reminded of Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Fuck. He was really, really bad at </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>thinking about Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Hell, how could he not think of Kurapika? How could he not think of the golden haired, beautiful pale boy who he just wanted to hug? Jesus, he was such a shithead for not contacting Kurapika yet. He needed to drag his ass up and call him, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t get a response anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio was about to give into his temptation to fully accept his sulking about their argument until he felt something slam into his chest, Leorio’s eyes widening as whoever was below him stumbled back. He looked downwards to see a short, plump person standing in front of him-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Melody!?” Leorio asked incredulously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“How unlikely of a situation this is,” Melody smiled as she took a seat in the coffee shop, hands lacing together and resting on top of the table. “Sorry if I interrupted anything, by the way! I really insist, you don’t have to treat me to coffee. It’s no big deal!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio shook his head slightly, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth upwards. “I almost knocked you on your ass in the middle of the city, Melody. I’m not busy anyways, so it’s fine.” The warmth of the coffee shop felt amazing against his cold-numbed skin. He had insisted on treating Melody to some coffee after almost running her over. It had been years since they had seen one another, so it wouldn’t help to do a bit of catching up, would it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Melody let out an amused puff of air as she looked through the coffee menu. “How have you been, Leorio? Up to anything exciting?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Unfortunately, no.” The words came from his mouth out of instinct, but he paused. Well, he caught feelings for one of his best friends and had a yelling match with him three days ago. That was exciting. But in the ‘wow that was intense i never want that to happen again’ way, not in the ‘good things are happening this is exciting’ way. God, he wished good things were happening between him and Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Melody hummed, closing her eyes. “Well, I can’t say much has happened to be as of recent either. Except…” She paused, eyebrows furrowing as her eyes opened again. “Leorio, you are close to Kurapika, are you not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio paused, blinking. It was as if Melody could read his mind sometimes, switching to the topic of what he was just thinking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Yeah, we’re pretty close,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. Or should he say they used to be pretty close? No, that would be dramatic. Hopefully. He didn’t know how angry Kurapika was- He might never want to talk to Leorio again, for all he knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Kurapika’s been off,” Melody murmured, shaking her head slowly. “Would you happen to be able to help him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I’m not too sure he would want help from me right now,” Leorio admitted. God damn it. It was his fault Kurapika was down in the first place. He didn’t know if the blonde would even tolerate his presence right now, much less have a heart to heart with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“We… got into a little scuffle,” Leorio admitted, running a hand through his hair. “We both… said some shitty things, I guess. I’ve been feeling not too ecstatic about it, and I’m sure Kurapika feels the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Melody gave him a sympathetic look. “Kurapika is a good person, and it’s sad to see him like this. I’m afraid that he’s losing himself amidst all of his ambitions, and nobody seems to be able to hold him back or keep him grounded. Except…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio cut her off, voice a bit too conflicted for his own liking. “I don’t even know if Kurapika would ever want to see me again,” he mused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The shorter woman gave the taller man a small smile, as if amused by the notion. “Kurapika may seem like some immovable boulder, but I know him and I know you. He would never choose to abandon the relationship you two have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>“You’re- You’re just a fucking distraction. I don’t give a shit above you!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio’s gaze shifted downwards to the table, and he sighed. Melody seemed to pick up on this, speaking up once again. “Leorio, if anyone in this world is able to help Kurapika it’s you. That boy… he cares for you deeply. More than you think.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“He said some… You know. Some pretty harsh things. I can’t help but wonder if they’re the truth. He was saying a lot of things that are the opposite of what you’re saying now, Melody.” Leorio wasn’t afraid to be open with Melody. She was trustworthy and honest. He respected her greatly, and knew if he should tell this to anyone it should be her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“When people are angry, they like to say a lot of things they know aren’t true. Sometimes it’s to hurt the other person. Sometimes it’s to try to convince themselves of what they’re claiming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio opened his mouth to respond to this but was instead left to ponder over her words as the waitress arrived, taking Melody’s order with a smile and nod before turning to Leorio. “Ah… Just an espresso,” he murmured with a weak smile. The waitress nodded and hurried away as Leorio looked back to Melody, sighing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I really do hope he meant the opposite of what he was saying. We were… We were doing really good, you know. We were hanging out more in a week than we had in the past two years, and it felt amazing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Melody gave him a knowing smile. “Those are the words of someone with more than just a desire for friendship, Leorio.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The dark-haired man hid his face in his hands, groaning. “God, I don’t even want to think about romance with Kurapika right now. Not when he doesn’t even enjoy me as a friend right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Have you ever considered that his anger at you is driven by passion?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Of course it is. Anger is a form of passion, y’know.” Leorio rested his chin on his palm, frowning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“That’s not the type of passion I’m talking about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>That sentence made Leorio pause, blinking slowly. What was Melody suggesting? Kurapika didn’t like him, surely. He was almost certain the boy didn’t like him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Do you think Kurapika has ever felt any form of romantic interest in someone before? Don’t you think it might scare him if he were to feel like that towards someone? Make him lash out, even.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio didn’t respond, rubbing his chin as he mulled these words over. He might scoff if these words were coming from somebody else, but this was Melody he was talking to; Melody was smart. Almost scarily smart when it came to reading people, in fact. They weren’t great friends and hadn’t talked much at all, but it really was hard not to trust Melody even a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Melody glanced up as the waitress set both of their coffees on the table before looking back to Leorio, who had already reached forward to grab his. He took a sip as he thought about what she was saying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Getting in contact with Kurapika when he doesn’t want to speak is hard,” Melody pointed out before taking a sip of her drink. “However, I do know that he doesn’t have work today. And I do know his address, Leorio.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The dark haired man looked up from his mug, raising his eyebrows. “Is it… really okay for you to give me his address without his permission?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Melody nodded. “You two are best friends. It’s a shock, really, that you don’t know where he lives yet. And, plus…” She looked down towards the table with a small smile, closing her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Regardless of what he says, you’re the one Kurapika needs the most right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>He screwed up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>Kurapika lay on the couch with a blanket over him, the television nothing more than background noise for him. He didn’t watch television. He didn’t even know why he had it on. Maybe some part of him had been hoping that it’d distract him from his own thoughts, but he was horribly wrong if so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>His mind was filled with thoughts of Leorio. And not the usual kind that would have him feeling warm or make the corners of his mouth tug upwards inexplicably, but instead thoughts of how he had treated him days earlier. Kurapika didn’t even have a right to be upset, with the absolute bullshit he had said- Why had he said those things? He didn’t mean them. He knew he didn’t mean a single one of them even as those words tumbled from his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He shifted his attention to the TV, desperately searching for something to latch his attention to. He tried to focus on the words and the colors of the screen, but it was hard. It was hard to break away from Leorio’s presence in his mind, because he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>always fucking there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, no matter what Kurapika wanted or was supposed to be focusing on. Even in the middle of work we would find himself taking comfort in thinking of Leorio; Just thinking of being able to talk with him was enough to fill him with longing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he’d be lying if he was to say he didn’t imagine things further than that too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika couldn’t resist wondering what Leorio would look like in more casual clothes rather than that suit he always wore. Hell, he couldn’t resist wondering what Leorio would look like in no shirt at all. What would his hands feel like on Kurapika’s hips? Large, warm, and comforting, he was sure. And maybe they’d even travel down gently, down to his thighs and rest there-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika groaned and hid his face in his hands, cheeks red. He was such a fucking mess. How could he even think about such things- of hugging and touching and the things that only lovers would do- right after he exploded on Leorio for no reason?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. He would need to contact Leorio sooner than later. He didn’t want Leorio to think he was the one in the wrong or something- Kurapika knew damn well it was himself at fault here. Leorio was just trying to… comfort him. Help him. And he was a fucking asshole over it.</span>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leorio was always so bright, always so energetic and happy and enthusiastic. He was more than just a dickhead for stomping on that for no reason. Kurapika needed to get his shit together. He knew this. But part of him, a very </span>
  <em>
    <span>vocal </span>
  </em>
  <span>part of him, wanted to let himself sink lower and make no effort to… get better, if it could be phrased that way. It was so much harder to try to brighten himself up than it was to just focus on the eyes and the troupe and nothing else in life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He was going to apologize. He was going to call Leorio right now and ask to meet him so he could make things right again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika reached for his phone and unlocked it, clicking into Leorio’s contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He stared at the little call symbol, his finger slowly moving towards it to hover right over the screen. He was going to do it. He was going to call Leorio. Now. Right now. This moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>His gaze snapped up to the door when he heard a knock and he threw his phone to the side. He would do it. He would call him. Right after he answered the door, of course. Part of him was relieved. Thank you, mystery stranger, for giving him a reason to procrastinate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika stood, making his way to the door and swinging it open. It was probably just a package or maybe Melody.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Hey-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika froze. That was not Melody. Or the mailman. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was a tall, olive-skinned man with dark spiky hair and a stupid, dumb suit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Kurapika?” He asked tentatively, eyes wide. “Uh, hey. I’m sorry. It’s just- I- Um, shit, I should’ve shot you a text about this first-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Kurapika cut in, heart racing. He knew his words came off a bit too sharp based off the way Leorio flinched. “You… You can come in,” he muttered, turning around to face away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
  <span>Holy fuck. Kurapika took a deep breath as he walked over to the kitchen, trying his best to hide his shaking hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He wasn’t dressed either. Shit. All he had on was some jeans and a big hoodie- He looked fucking homeless right now. “Do you want coffee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Oh. Uh, no thanks- I already had coffee today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurapika avoided glancing at Leorio as if his life depended on it, pouring his coffee into a mug for himself. He definitely needed some damn coffee to make it through this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The heavy silence in the room put Kurapika on edge. He wondered if it was the same for Leorio. Was he pissed? Or was he just disappointed that Kurapika had said those things? What if he thought Kurapika really meant everything he had said?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika nearly poured his coffee over the edge of his cup, catching himself last second and putting the coffee mug down. He sipped some of the coffee- It was way too hurt and definitely just burned his tongue, shit- and turned back around. Leorio had already taken a seat on his couch, focused on the television. He wondered if he was just pretending to be engulfed in the show on the TV to avoid having to look at Kurapika.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The blonde took a seat on the other end of the couch, focusing his gaze on his coffee. How did Leorio even know where he lived? He didn’t know what to say right now, but he didn’t want to make Leorio feel like he was… pissed or something. Because he wasn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika looked up from his mug, meeting Leorio’s eyes. His lips parted slightly, but no words came from them. What should he say? He couldn’t. He couldn’t bring words to his mouth. He had managed to spout so much shit when he had been screaming at Leorio. How could he be silent now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I know things kind of escalated and we both got really angry. I don’t know whether or not you… I mean, I know I didn’t mean to make you angry, or make you think I was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I was scared.” The words wrenched from Kurapika’s mouth in too much of a strained tone, his throat raw. Leorio went silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I was scared,” Kurapika repeated, “Of the way you…” He swallowed. The words almost hurted coming out of his throat. “...Made me feel, I guess. I couldn’t stop thinking of you and wanting to…wanting to spend time with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Both of them stared at one another, Kurapika’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. They were facing one another on the couch, admittedly close enough to be distracting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“For a long time, for all those years after everything with the auction and everything that happened there, I didn’t… I didn’t talk to any of you. I was scared of hurting any of you. Of someone else hurting any of you. I couldn’t stop thinking that if something happened to you or Killua or Gon I would… I wouldn’t be able to…” Kurapika paused, biting his lip to stop more words from spilling from his mouth. “When we met again and we went to that stupid bar, it made me feel a certain way that I hadn’t felt in a long time. And for the first time in a while, I wasn’t just thinking about… you know. The Troupe, or the scarlet eyes. I was thinking about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He couldn’t stop anymore, the words pushing themselves from his lips almost against his will.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I need control, and I just can’t control the way you make me feel. You’re just always in my thoughts. Ever since </span>
  <em>
    <span>that day</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s always been the Troupe that I always thought about, and all the hate that came with it. And now it’s just- it’s you, and the Troupe’s still there, but for once I have something else to focus on and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>His sight was blurry. Was… his voice shaking? It sounded so unsteady. He needed to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Everything I said, it was… I didn’t mean it. I was trying to convince myself, I guess, that I didn’t like you in the way that I do, but I knew it was a lie. I know how I feel about you, even if I don’t understand. I have no control over… any of this. And something about that scares me. Especially since I don’t even know if...” Kurapika finally broke off, jaw clenching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio stared at him silently, neither male moving for a good minute. Kurapika could feel his heart beating against his chest. He had said too much. He had said too fucking much and now he looked like a god damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>joke-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>“Know if what?” Leorio asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“...Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“You… You didn’t finish your sentence. You don’t know if what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Oh.” The blonde bit his lip, feeling his face heat up. “I don’t know if you… Return those… sentiments. About me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>There was no pause this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>A soft laugh rolled from Leorio’s lips and Kurapika froze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I do, Kurapika.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Warmth swelled in Kurapika’s heart and he stared at the taller man with wide eyes, unable to believe what he’d just been told. “Are you not angry at me?” He asked, near breathless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“I was scared that you meant the things you said- I guess I’m just happy it wasn’t true, Kurapika. I couldn’t peel my mind off you either, and it hurt a lot to not know whether or not you even enjoyed being around me as a friend, much less something… more.” Leorio smiled, and it was such a warm, </span>
  <em>
    <span>genuine </span>
  </em>
  <span>expression that it made Kurapika want to take a photo of it and save it in his memory forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Maybe that heartwarming expression was the reason Kurapika leaned forward closer to Leorio, their faces mere inches apart from one another. The taller man seemed to pause for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>His hand drifted to Kurapika’s face and gently cupped one of Kurapika’s cheeks, causing the blonde’s breath to hitch in his throat. His touch was soft and warm against his skin- it was everything Kurapika had dreamed about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>“Can I?” Leorio whispered, and Kurapika’s only response was a nod. He couldn’t trust himself with words right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>The dark-haired man leaned forward and Kurapika thought he might </span>
  <em>
    <span>melt </span>
  </em>
  <span>when Leorio’s lips pressed against his. His eyes fluttered closed. It was gentle and slow, Kurapika shivering when the taller man’s hand drifted to his hair and curled into his golden strands softly. Every action Leorio took was slow and experimental and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kurapika loved it. Heat curled in his stomach as he shifted onto the other man’s lap, thighs rested on either side of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika leaned back from the kiss, panting lightly. He took in the sight of the other male, with his olive skin and that spiky black hair that Kurapika always loved so much. “Leorio…” He murmured, relishing the way his name rolled off his tongue. “I like you. A lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Leorio smiled, running his hands through Kurapika’s hair slowly. “I like you too, Kurapika. A lot,” He added teasingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Kurapika couldn’t help but return the smile, arms wrapping around the other male’s neck as he leaned forward to rest his head on his shoulders. Kurapika closed his eyes. “Can we stay like this for a bit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>He assumed that Leorio’s arms gently moving to wrap around him was a yes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Holy shit this was hard to write and so worth the struggle! Writing their kiss was amazing and the mental image that I have noe of Leorio and Kurapika falling asleep while cuddling??? Perfection</p><p>Anyways,, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and that it lived up to expectations! I know that their interaction was pretty brief but I didn't want to stuff it with too much filler I guess!</p><p>Since the romance has begun that means the smut will too 👀 I'm a little nervous but also excited! Might do a one shot or something so I can have a bit more experience writing smut, since I want it to be at least decent in this fic!</p><p>Also, for anyone who reads/watches Attack on Titan; I have an Ereri fic up now! It's only the first chapter but it's a whopping 7k words 😳 If you're in that fandom I'd love for you to check it out! It won't update as frequently as this one but the updates will be much longer, and I'm about done with the second chapter.</p><p>(Also this chapter brings this fic to a whole!! ass!! 20k!! words!!!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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